The Straw
by R.C. Cummings
Summary: JJ wants to know what Emily was thinking starring at one of their victims.
1. Chapter 1

**I know I have two stories going at once but I need to write this so please forgive me. I've been sick and it's been hard to focus and editing has been the pits. I am feeling better but had a very bad day today so I need to go to my go to girl Emily.**

 **Not sure where this will end up but it will be kind of dark at first and I hope it lightens up.**

 ***Okay as always I own nothing of Criminal minds I just get the privilege of playing with the characters for a while.**

 **V**

JJ walked into the scene after the house had been cleared and found Emily standing in a corner just starring at the body. There weren't any signs of pity, confusion, or sorrow. She was just standing there looking at the woman with a blank stare.

She was going to say something but the moment seemed like a solemn one. JJ couldn't pin point it but it was almost like Emily had left to converse with the universe leaving her body in that spot until she had an answer.

JJ heard Rossi and Morgan coming and decided that she would be the one to bring Emily back to earth. "Hey Em… what are you thinking so hard on?" she asked and touched the woman's for arm.

She neither jumped at the touch nor responded. "Em… Are you okay?" She asked while this time grasping the woman's wrist gentle. Emily slowly looked at JJ with dull eyes… but was silent for a moment more until she fully realized she needed to answer something.

JJ watched as a light flicked and Emily looked at her, "What?"

"I asked if you were okay."

"I'm fine… I was just thinking."

"Yeah… I kind of noticed that one." She said smiling trying to lightening up the mood. "Care to share some of those thoughts?"

"Not at the moment. I need to go write up my report. I'll catch you later." She said and walked out to the SUV that was going to the station.

They had caught the unsub but not before he killed Monica Styles. The team always hated being late in saving a human. But they had managed to save her two children and they would be going to live with a loving father.

Emily gave the appearance of reading a book while on the plane home but JJ noticed that in over an hour the woman hadn't turned the page once. She was in the seat across from Hotch who wanted to work on some files and had a birds eye view of the woman across the aisle… who again was absent from her body starring into space talking to the universe.

They landed and was told to go home that the team would be debriefed the following Monday. They all blew out a sigh of relief and headed for their cars. JJ jogged to catch up with Emily.

"Hey Em… it's quite over at my house right now. Henry went home with Will to New Orleans… how about a girls night… just you, me and a movie?" She asked knowing that she was going to be turned down.

"I can't JJ… but thank…" She stopped in mid-sentence when she saw the sadden face. "Look… I won't be much company at the moment."

"Em… I know there is something bothering you and I just want to be there for you like you are always there for me."

"I'm fine…" was started and cut off by two deep blue eyes with eyebrows raised up like, "don't go there with me."

"Fine… but why don't you come to my place since it is closer?" Emily finally relented.

"That sounds like a plan." She said as they neared their cars. "I'll see you there." She said as Emily got into her car and nodded and drove away.

They pulled into Emily's condo just about the same time. JJ had speed to keep up with the brunette... who she feared would change her mind if she didn't keep up with her. Emily got out and went to the back and got her to go bag out. "You can bring yours if you like." She said motioning towards JJ's hatch where she knew her go bag was too. "You can change into something comfortable if you like." The woman said and turned and walked to the the door leaving JJ jogging to catch up again. She understood that Emily wasn't doing it on purpose but was so involved with her thoughts that she didn't realize she was doing it.

They walked in and Emily disarmed her security system and turned to the her, "I'm going to go upstairs and change. You are welcome to use the bathroom here. There are fresh towels in there... feel free to help yourself." She said and half smiled at the woman and headed up the stairs to change. JJ felt that she had won a partial battle as she went in to freshen up and change.

She walked out and into the living room where she saw a glass of red wine waiting on the coffee table. She walked over to it, "Is this mine?"

"Yes... would you like Thai or pizza?"

"OOO... choices..." JJ said with a sultry voice.

"It's that or a plain omelet with eggs that I'm not so sure aren't chickens yet." Emily said grinning.

"Well with fine dinning choices like that... let's have Thai."

"Thought so..." She said as she picked up her phone to order.

JJ waited patiently through the process of the ordering and Emily bringing her wine and sitting on the couch near her. They sat in quite for several moments until JJ couldn't take it anymore. "Em... what were you thinking about when you were starring at the woman's body today?"

Emily looked into her glass of wine and sighed, "About the straw."

* * *

 **Library is having computer issues... will have to finish this tomorrow... sorrow.**


	2. Chapter 2

***Okay as always, I own nothing of Criminal minds I just get the privilege of playing with the characters for a while.**

 **V**

 **(Chapter Two)**

JJ looked at her puzzled, "The straw?" She said in a form of a question.

"Yes…" Emily said and looked up at her seriously.

"Okay… help me out here Emily." She said raising an eyebrow, "I do not remember a straw being at any of the crime scenes."

"There weren't." She said and looked back into her glass of wine.

Even though JJ was getting frustrated with the lack of information she knew to give the woman a few moments or there would be no information at all. Emily swirled her wine then took a sip and let the bouquet of the flavor to over take her mouth. JJ watched her and knew that this was just what Emily did when she opened a new bottle of wine so she followed suit. When the wine was swallowed she then knew why the woman did it. Her mouth was exploding with the amazing taste of the wine.

"Wow... this wine is good." She said out loud. She couldn't hold the comment back... it was just amazing.

"Yeah... it's from my grandfather's vineyard. I drink it only when I have a question or situation I need to think through." She said looking up and smiling at JJ, "He told me to always go into the vineyard with the grapes when I was a kid... that I would find the answers among the grapes."

"So now you drink the wine because it's the closest thing to the vineyard." JJ said smiling finishing Emily's thought.

"You got it."

"Well... what has us in your grandfather's vineyard tonight?"

"I told you earlier "the straw." JJ just shook her head in confusion. "Did you know that there are many proverbs about straw in several languages." Again the woman shook her head in disbelief. "For example..." Emily said now getting some animation in her face trying to explain, "In Portuguese... From the straws in the air we judge of the wind. In Latin... Even a straw becomes heavy, if you carry it far enough. Then in Scottish Gaelic... Every straw is a thorn at night. In..."

"Okay... Okay... Reid." She said grinning at Emily. "I get it but what has you thinking about straws all of a sudden?" She looked at her and JJ noticed the far fog moving in again in her eyes so she reached out and touched the woman's hand to focus her back to the present moment with her. "Em... what is it?"

"I was standing there looking at Monica and..." the door bell rang stopping the woman's speech.

"Damn!" JJ thought as Emily got up to get the food. "She would live just down the street from the Thai place."

Emily came back but went into the kitchen and started unloading the brown bag of food. JJ got up and came to the counter to help and was surprised as Emily picked up her statement. "... when I saw her body I just thought... how heavy does the straw have to be to snap someone into the world of insanity?" She said placing plates down for them to eat off of.

"Em... we know that there are stresses in all of our unsubs lives that cause them to do unthinkable things."

"Yes... but what was his straw?" JJ looked at her again. The woman had lost her in her wording and she feared losing Emily again to the blank stare.

"Em... you are speaking in riddles to me. I usually can follow your train of thought... but I need a map on this one." She said as they sat down at the table to eat.

"Neal..." she started as JJ nodded that she understood that she was talking about their last unsub. "... was an average guy that had no signs of any stresses. Then snap... he goes on a killing spree that led him back to his hometown to Monica. What was his straw?"

"Em... we profiled him as a FPP (fantasy prone personality). We may never know what his straw was because he switched from a gentle easy going person to a spree killer within days. I realize that you are having issues with not knowing why... we all were. But Em... this seems deeper. Almost like their is something else bothering you."

"Don't profile me JJ!" Was almost growled out in a warning as she took in a bite of Kao Pad.

"I'm not profiling you. I just want you to trust me to talk to me. I'm safe to talk with... please open up to me Em."

She chewed the bite in her mouth slowly as she looked at JJ... then washed the bite down with the last of her wine. She stood up and went and got the bottle and filled both of their glasses with more wine. JJ just waited the woman out... understanding that Emily was processing her thoughts. "I know you are safe to talk to Jennifer." She said as she sat back down. JJ was now intrigued because she used her full first name. Emily took another drink of wine and placed the glass on the table, "Have you ever wondered what your straw was?"

JJ opened her mouth and then closed it being startled by the question. She looked at Emily who was looking dead seriously at her and knew an answer was expected. "I... I... have been through somethings that I thought might make me snap but no... I haven't thought about it." Emily just shook her head in acknowledgement like "thought so" and looked down at her plate. She got another fork of food and asked, "So how is Henry doing, " then placed the food in her mouth.

JJ read it for what it was... a diversion tactic. She wasn't for sure if she should press through and try focusing Emily back on point or not. "He is growing like a weed." Was answered as she decided a soft approach might be the preferred way to go. She started eating her food and planned her next chess move with Emily. She understood that the next time she brought up the subject that she would need and answer to the straw question. She would need the time of eating dinner to formulate that answer.

* * *

 **Okay get angry at me... I have a dinner date with an absolutely beautiful woman so this cliff hanger is just going to have to be finished tomorrow. I know that ya'll would understand. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Just to fill you all in… I had a lovely dinner talking with a longtime friend who is amazing. I can say that because I know she doesn't read my work. She is on the other side of preferences but I do not hold that against her. I just smile and wish the man she gets truly knows what a gift he has. Anyway… on with the story.**

 ***Okay as always, I own nothing of Criminal minds I just get the privilege of playing with the characters for a while.**

 **V**

(Chapter Three)

They finished dinner with light conversation. Emily started clearing the table and JJ helped. She decided that she would let the woman guide the conversation for a while. Hoping to easy things back around. Emily was drying the dishes and putting them away as JJ washed and that about the answer to the straw question. It came to her like a bolt of lightning. She stopped washing the plate in her hands as the words came out of her mouth, "you… you would be."

"What?" Emily asked not following JJ's thought.

"You Emily Prentiss… would and have been my straw. Of course, I would kill anything that would try to hurt my child. But you are the only one that I have dropped everything for and cared about what you thought of me." She looked up to validate her answer and to see what affect it had. She knew that she was laying herself wide open but at the moment she didn't care. Emily took a step forward and took the plate and sat it on the counter then caught her in a hug.

JJ started to pull out of the embrace but Emily pulled tighter and wouldn't let go. That's when she realized what the woman had been thinking about... but she had to know for sure.

"I'm your straw too, aren't I?"

"Yes…" was whispered into her ear. They both tightened their grips on each other as the volume of the revelations filled their hearts and minds.

When they finally pulled away, Emily took her hand and led them to the couch. "I was standing there looking at her body and from the back she looked like you. I wanted to know why he would kill someone that looked like you. She was a good mother like you are and from our information she was nice to everybody. So why kill her?

I got so enraged that she was dead and I couldn't protect her from being killed. I wondered why in the world I was getting so angry about someone I didn't even know. Then I realized I had a dream a few weeks ago similar to the scene I was looking at. But it wasn't Monica laying there but you. In the dream, I went nuts to find out who killed you and woke up as I was choking your killer to death."

Emily took JJ's hand, "That's when I knew for sure... you are my straw."

"What does this mean? I have a child, a boyfriend and I'm not gay." JJ started a ramble as her thoughts started going wild in her head.

"Hey… hey… it's okay." Emily said as she patted the woman's arm. "I'm not asking you for anything."

JJ looked at her puzzled as a thought hit her, "Wait… you are not gay either."

Emily closed her eyes and took a deep breath and blew it out, "I have had more than one love interest in my life and not all have been male. I do not like labels JJ. I've had people watching and labeling me all my life and I'm tired of it." She said looking at the still puzzled face before her. " I told you I wouldn't be good company. I should have come home by myself." She said and went back into the kitchen for her wine.

JJ followed the woman with her eyes then ignoring the last comment asked, "Why haven't you told me before now?"

"I wouldn't have told you now either but the straw is getting too heavy to carry, as they say. I care about you JJ. I have never felt this way towards anyone else in my life. I bury every one of those feels every day and when one slips out I bury it deeper than I did the time before. So much so, that it manifests in my sleep on a regular basis. But I get it… you have a family and you are straight. But at least now that I have admitted it, maybe I can get some sleep." She said taking a drink of her wine.

"You dream about me?" JJ asked out loud as her brain struggled to keep up with what Emily just said.

"Yes… sorry. Maybe I should just transfer." Emily said frustrated with the whole conversation now feeling exposed.

"No!" JJ exclaimed as she stood up and came to where she was standing. "I do not want you to leave." She said and wrapped her arms around the woman.

After several moment of taking in the warmth of the woman in her arms, "Then what JJ…"

"I have dreams about you too." Was said into Emily's shoulder. "I thought it was because of what happened to my sister. That's why I check on you so much. She was quiet like you and I feel the need to make sure that you are okay so you won't leave too."

Emily pulled the woman in tighter, "I will never leave you in that matter Jennifer... ever. I can't promise to never have to be away from you. But I will always come to you when you need me." She said pulling back and looking at tear filled eyes, "I will have too... you are my straw."

* * *

 **okay I know I have had you dangling... so I have posted a shorter chapter to move it along. Be patient with me cause I got to give The Sin some love as well as my series. I promise updates soon on all. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

***Okay as always, I own nothing of Criminal minds I just get the privilege of playing with the characters for a while.**

 **V**

 **(Chapter Four)**

JJ found herself lying on the floor soaked to the bone and shivering. She was slowly losing it. The water torture had pulled her from the memory of her confession to Emily of her being her straw. But the water couldn't break her. Emily had come to her in a vision. She had touched her skin and JJ knew that her straw would be there soon to help her. She just had to hide in the shadows of memory for just a little while longer.

… _XXXXX…_

"JJ…"

"I'm here." She said raising her head up from the hospital bed where she had been holding the woman's hand for hours praying she would wake up from her surgery.

"How… when… why am I…" was tried to be asked from a drug induced fog.

"Shhh… rest and I will tell you it all." JJ said and squeezed her hand slightly. "You were stabbed by Doyle…" She started, "… and now Emily, you have to remain dead," was the finishing sentence.

"The team is safe… you are safe?" Was the only words coherently spoken by the brunette.

"Yes we are… but you will remain here for a couple more days then I'm going to take you somewhere that is safe for you." She said as Emily gripped the woman's hand tighter and went back out in sleep.

(Two days later)

The jet engines were roaring over the Atlantic. "Why did Hotch call for you though?" Emily asked still confused as to why JJ sat there before her.

"He told me that the only one that he knew that was anyway close enough to know what you would do was me. I guess he's a good profiler." She said and smiled at the woman.

"I guess he is." She said and looked down at her hands.

"Em…" she started trying to get the woman to look up. But had no luck so she reached out and softly lifted the woman's head up. "Em… you are still my straw."

Emily took in a deep breath and after a few moments answered, "Yeah… I'm your dead straw."

"Em… we never finished our conversation that night in your kitchen because we both were too afraid of losing each other. You were afraid that you would lose me because you needed more and I was afraid because I couldn't give more since that would make me gay and I was a mom." She paused to let the word refresh the woman's memory not that they needed to. She could see the pain in the woman's eyes the moment she mentioned the word kitchen.

"Em… I almost lost you because of my fear. I can't ever lose you. I'm not afraid anymore."

Emily looked at the woman and sighed. The wondering thoughts of "it's easy not to fear loving a dead woman isn't it JJ," was going through her head. But the fact was she technically was dead and yet by mercy of fate she was hearing the words her heart had begged to hear for years. The decision was made, who was she to thumb her nose at fate? She leaned forward and caught the woman's lips in a tender kiss. She was just testing the waters to see if they would retreated back. They didn't… but instead pushed forward into a kiss that grew passionate until they both were out of breath.

"Wow…" was panted out.

"Wow too…" Emily said as she leant her forehead against JJ's.

 _XXXXX_

"Emily… I love you." The vision was fading, "…I love you." Shots were fired, "…I love you." Faded into reality, Emily was standing there undoing her chains. "She came. I knew she would."

Once she was fully aware she tore out after the man who had tortured her, Hastings. Emily went running after the woman as her back up and then took the lead up to the roof after a shootout proved fruitless. She caught the man and gave him a few blows before taking a direct hit from him which knocked her down. JJ came right behind her and got her punches in but didn't realize how close to the edge of the building they were until they fell. Emily ran and caught her arm and pulled her back to safety.

"I got you." Emily kept saying until she was standing on the roof again.

"You are here."

"Where else would I be?" Emily asked confusedly.

"I knew you would come."

"I have too Jaye... you are my straw no matter what happens."

"I had to choose what was best for my child... but that didn't stop my heart from loving you." She said and pulled Emily into a fierce kiss.

Emily pulled back... "Let's get back downstairs before they come looking for us." She said and turned to walk away before the tears could start.

"Em... I know it's not fair... but you will always be my straw."

Emily turned, "No it's not but like we both know... you can't change who your heart chooses as it's straw."

* * *

 **This comes from strickly a frustrated point of view. It started that way and will end that way. Who said that life was fair? It's not but love is and the straw love tells us which is real... a life love or a straw love and then we make a choice.**


End file.
